Dress rehearsal, Check!

Dress rehearsal, Check!

Friday, I went to have my trial transfer completed. At school we have been calling this a "dress rehearsal" because that's basically what it was.  My co-workers were telling me to break a leg, remember to smile and to breathe...I love those crazy ladies!

It was a quick and easy procedure but man oh man did I have to pee!!  You have to go in with a full bladder, and I was so afraid I was going to have an accident right there on the table. Luckily I made it through the procedure without an accidents.

Stephanie and Dr. Katz were wonderful!  You know the feeling you get when you meet someone and that you feel they are supposed to be your friend? Yup that's how I feel about those two!  Dr. Katz is a funny guy who listens to his patients, jokes around, even when he is working down there, and clearly loves his job. Stephanie and I hug, she appreciates the cupcakes I bring her, and listens to my concerns, questions and knows when to tell me to breath. I'm one lucky girl to have these two in my corner.

My family has also been such a blessing!  My parents and my husband's parents and our siblings are an amazing support team I don't know how we would be able to have this journey without them! :) For the next week I will be on birth control. Next step will on the 9th for ultrasound and blood work. Thank you for your prayers, well wishes and comments. They keep me going :)

Mid-Week Update!

Mid-Week Update!

I am happy to report my cycle finally begun last Friday!  I was beginning to think the stress of everything was going to  make me miss my cycle! And yes when I called to announce the beginning of my cycle to my IVF team, my face totally looked like this! If you are just joining this adventure, you can check out this post to see the steps we are taking.

              

Sunday morning I pulled into the parking lot at 7:15 am for my blood work and ultrasound. Saturday afternoon I drank over 100 oz of water because giving blood is such a process for me.  (deep veins in arms..they usually end up taking from my hand)  I was in for a pleasant surprise...I only had to give 1 vial of blood!! The ultrasound was just to see how many eggs I have forming currently and their size.  The on-call IVF team was great, very kind and super thorough on  making sure I had a prescription of birth control.  I am not lying when I say between Friday afternoon-Sunday afternoon I was asked 10 times if I had my birth control filled.  

Sunday evening I got the phone call to start taking birth control!  We are on our way! Stephanie, our IVF nurse, called me Monday to make sure I was taking the birth control and to schedule my next appointment for ultrasound, trial transfer and to talk about the next medicines.  

So with that being said....our next step is this Friday!!  I will be heading in with a full bladder for this thing called a trial transfer.  So in this quick appointment, they will be checking to see exactly where they will be placing our embryos.  They don't want to be fumbling around on the actual day of implantation, so they do this mock one to know the lay of the land.

Thank you for your continued support and prayers.  I love hearing from everyone but most of all I love to know that you care....that sounds wrong to say, but I decided when I started writing this blog, that it was mine and I was going to say my feelings...and not hold back!  

Stephanie the Super Nurse

Stephanie the Super Nurse

So I have shared a little bit about our AMAZING nurse, Stephanie.  But let me give you the back story and then fill you up until now.  The first time we met Stephanie was right after our meeting with Dr. Katz to find out the IVF was the only way, Paul and I could physical have a child.  I had cried in that meeting with Dr. Katz, not because of the IVF journey...we knew we were already on that path since December.  I cried because we were told we had to wait another 'month'.  I say 'month' like that because my cycle has been ranging from 32-36 days and I was at the moment on day 2....the tears flowed fast and freely.  I was able to pull myself together before meeting with Stephanie, but I am sure she could tell I had been crying.

Stephanie,was not only professional and telling us all this information but so sweet when stopping to answer our questions and talking through our concerns and giving us some insight.  At one point we had to sign away our lives and there was some sensitive decisions we had to make about our un-created embryos.  The legal jargon was way above our heads, but Stephanie was able to dumb it down for us and make it clear to us.  (By the way the decisions we had to make were very clear to both of us...we are definitely meant for each other!)  We spent over an hour with her going over polices, procedures, how to inject the medicines, asking questions about some other parts, etc.  The one thing I repeat to myself daily one piece of information she shared: "Do not Google it!, email me as many times a day as you want!"

I am sure there are some days she wishes she hadn't said that!  But every email I send, she responds quickly, professionally and super supportive!! I had no idea that my IVF team would not only support me medically but also emotionally!  Stephanie is the one person I can always email in a panic about things not going my way and when she tells me that its going to be okay and workout, I actually believe her!  It's not that I don't think it's going to be okay (my faith assures me of that) but in those moments of panic when my anxiety is through the roof, she can calm me down with just a few emailed words.  She probably doesn't even know she does that, and I am sure it's not just me, but all the other women she has on her caseload! 

Stephanie is a Super Nurse in my book!  Here is to the lady who responds to crazy million emails, my anxious words, responds quickly to my email even on her day off!!!!   I am one lucky lady to her on my side.  I hope I can repay her one day...and no I don't mean with my money! :)

Weekend Update

Weekend Update

Throughout the week we have had some more progress in our journey.  We finally heard from the 2nd medicine drug company....they awarded us 50% off their medicines! You just dont even know how happy we are!  We know that the costs saved will help us pay the other medical bills that are coming in.

 

Some of you are probably wondering how I am doing on the medications...well...I haven't started yet.  I think I mentioned in an early post that I can't start medication 1 (birth control) until my cycle starts.  It hasn't started yet.  I don't think I have ever wished for Aunt Flo to hurry up and visit more! 

While its been a long month, it's also been a short one.  We have had appointments and things to figure out.  I am going to be honest here, its been frustrating as all get out! I think the last few appointments that can be made are, this upcoming week will be a busy one. And whenever my cycle does start, I will have another appointment!  It should be a pretty productive week!

I think tomorrow's post is going to have to be about Stephanie, our IVF nurse...she is just amazing and you need to hear about her!!

Out of Pocket...

Out of Pocket...

You may or may not know that IVF is totally out of pocket.  Because of Paul's "first responder" job we qualify for a discounted program.  Even with that discount, its alot of money.  We are open to any and all suggestions on helping bring the cost down. 

Our amazing IVF nurse, Stephanie, told us about two different grants we could apply for. Both are with pharmaceutical companies that supply my medicines.  My medicines could cost up to $5,000 alone.  We got the word today that one company approved us for an additional 25% off three of my medications!  I for sure thought we would get more..our W-2's are just pitiful, but I am really glad we are getting some money off!  Every little bit helps:)

Readers Here, Readers There, Readers Everywhere!

Readers Here, Readers There, 

Readers Everywhere!

One pretty cool thing about this blogging deal is you can see where in the world people are reading your blog from.  We have a reader in Dominica, my sweet friend who I only met for one night but instantly knew we were meant to be friends, lives there now.  She is working her magically nursing skills down there enjoying that magnificent weather..I know I am not alone in coveting that right now!  Another friend in New Zealand is a reader..oh how we miss you at school, friend!  Feel free to come back and visit anytime! I will gladly sit in the back and watch you teach my kiddos, teach them the dances and songs from your mother land!

  

Another cool thing about blogging is realizing that the blog isn't about you anymore!  I have only been writing for less than a month, and numerous people have reached out and told me their stories.  I have been glad to hear each of these stories (even the heartbreaking ones, my prayers are with you) and reconnecting with friends from long ago!  (Facebook is amazing for this!)  

Today I received the most eye opening message.  I won't go into the whole story but here are the words that got my heart! "Your process is healing for me and is creating hope for so many others."  I had to read that about 3 times before even processing that myself.  I am helping others??  I certainly didn't start this blog to help someone else.  In my younger years writing had been my outlet.  And I for sure need an outlet now!  If my story is helping you, I am so thankful!  Feel free to message me or comment below. 

As always my readers, thank you for continuing to read this little blog of mine, and thank you for your continued support!

So What Happens?

So What Happens?

When first meeting with the IVF team, I thought I would never remember the timeline or how this was all going to go down.  But since I have repeated it a million times...I think I have it down now!:) Some of you have been asking, so instead of repeating it another million times..Lets just blog about it:)

• Wait until my cycle starts over.  About a month ago, we were sitting in the dr's office, me with high hopes that we could get started right away because I was on day 2 of my cycle!  But he wanted us to wait until the new cycle started over, needless to say, there were some tears right then and there! Normal people have cycles about 28 days, I am special and my cycle is between 32-36 days.  UUUUGGGGGGHHHH!!!!
• The "Phone Call". It sounds so crazy to say, but when my cycle begins, I get to call the IVF team and let them know I have started!  LoL I literally will have that excitement in my voice too.  I will begin taking baby aspirin at this point too.
•                                   

• Medicines and Ultrasound. On day 3 I start taking birth control.  One of my readers asked why...this is to one, make sure I don't get pregnant and also to kind of shut my system down...they will be reeving up my system later in the process.  I will also need to get an ultrasound on this day.  They will be tracking my ovaries and egg production through out this whole process. 
• Trial Transfer.  We will be scheduling a trial transfer to make sure the process goes according to plan :)
• The Serious Medications.  So here is where they start reeving up my system!  I will start about 3 medications( in shot format) a day for anywhere between 8-12 days. Apparently I will be able to give these to myself...jury is still out on that one! I will need to go to the office every other day during this process for blood work.  I am incredibly lucky to having an amazingly supportive administration!  

• Egg Retrieval. With all the blood work and monitoring they will be doing, they will know when I am best ready for this step. I will be sedated during this....whew!  They will collect the eggs and the sperm and put them in petri dishes to make us some fertilized embryos.  I will need to keep relaxed, hang out on the couch the rest of that day.  
• More Medications and waiting. I will need to take some more medications to help my system to get back in regular mode, as well as some to get my system ready to the embryo transfer.  One medication is the big momma shot...it goes in my butt....who wants in on injecting that one?!  Haha  We will need to wait for the IVF team to call us to let us know when the next step will happen.  It seems like its 4-6 days.
• Embryo Transfer. Once we get the phone call,they will already have discarded the petri dishes that didn't create a good embryo.   I will not be sedated for this procedure, but will be given a Valium ahead of time.  Afterwards is 24-48 hours of bed rest....um...me bed rest?! Any tips for this? 

• Lots of waiting and then pregnancy test.  During this waiting time any and all distractions will be appreciated!!  I possibly will be a basket case:) I will have a blood test 12 days after embryo transplant to see if I am pregnant.  They will repeat this test every three days for about a week if it is positive.  Oh please let it be positive!!!!

I am so appreciating all the comments and words of support!  Please keep them coming...especially as we begin this journey. I apologize in advance to all for any and all emotions that will be coming and could be unleashed. 

A Happy Surprise!

A  Happy Surprise!

Yesterday, we took a trip to Target to refill my vitamins, migraine medicine and get my first medication needed for IVF....birth control.   Believe it or not, this girl has never taken birth control.  Because of the aggressive breast cancer in my family, my doctors have always advised against birth control.  

Back to my story...we go to the Target pharmacy counter and they don't have my exact brand of birth control I am supposed to take, but something similar that I can take.  I ask if they can refill my vitamins and migraine medicine...oh no my refills are out.  But they say..."You can call your doctors office to issue a new prescription"  My response, "She's in Africa"  They guy laughs, Paul comes over to see whats going on, I tell him my refills are out and that I need to call my doctor.  His response..."but she is in Africa!"  We all had a nice laugh.  I emailed our wonderful IVF nurse, Stephanie, to ask her for some assistance.  (more on Stephanie in a later post...she is AMAZING!!!)

While they are filling my prescription, we wander and get some food for the rest of the week.  When we come back to get the prescription, she rings us up...and tells us there is no co-pay!  So here is what I am telling you....we just paid $0 for something related to IVF!!  This pretty much made our day...because the $1,000's  we will be spending are just unreal...don't worry...we know its totally worth it!

The Steps We Take

Little Steps in a Big Journey

       Getting to IVF isn't easy and it isn't cheap!  Paul and I have spent the past 7 months in doctors offices, having tests run, procedures done and spending more money than I am willing to publicly share.  However, it's nothing compared to the frustration we had shouldered.  People say the first year of marriage is difficult, and we shared that road with millions of other couples, but man oh man this second year has been tough, but has really brought us together!  Paul has been a constant support, even when he thought I was crazy..hehe :)  He is an amazing man, who has done everything he can to keep me sane throughout this process.  I hope I have been helpful to him as we have gone through the testing and results.  

     Another frustrating part of this process is the people surrounding us.  We know our family and friends around us care for us and in the beginning no one knew anything.  But take it from me hearing "It will happen", "Just relax", and other similar sentiments, can drive a person mad!!  Once we started sharing what was going on with our friends, I was able to breathe a little bit and people did back off a little bit.  There are still some people in our lives that ask "When are you going to have a baby?" and I am just now able to respond "We are working on it".  

     I am still working on how to handle the pity looks.  We don't need the pity...trust me, we are strong! :) The looks we get when we explain that we have to go through IVF, are so sad filled.  I guess I am past the sad phase.  We know what the problem is and we have a great solution!  In about another 15 days we start the process. I am excited to get started!  

    As we continue our journey and share our lives with you, please know that we love you and thank you so much for the support!  As we feel comfortable with the information we have, we will share.