Mother's day

Today was so much harder than yesterday. Partly because I thought I could join the mothers club this year. And partly because everyone was posting about their moms (including me) and their children. The good news is that I made it through dinner with my parents with no tears!   You have no idea how proud of myself I am.  

To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you
To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you
To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you
To those who experienced loss this year through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you
To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is.
To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you
To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you
To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit with you
To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you
To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experience
To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst
To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you
And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate with you
This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We remember you.-Amy Young.

I have a new request for everyone as I enter the real world tomorrow, please do not ask me how I am doing, or really even mention anything to me. I can't take hugs, words or pitiful looks yet. A dear friend saw me in Target and I lost it. And tomorrow I need to be able to focus on school, kiddos and not lose it. Once I lose it, I can't get control again.  Feel free to comment, email, send a note, text but just no verbal or physical support.  Thank you for understanding, supporting, and praying for us. 

We Are in This Together

We Are in This Together

So did you know this week in National Infertility Awareness Week??  Yeah, I didn't either until about 20 minutes ago.  My good friend just told me.  And her hash tag is priceless.... #partoftheproblem   For anyone who has ever had issues with a pregnancy or getting pregnant, why is there the feeling of shame?  

Okay, I for sure agree with the 'painful feeling' part.  Ooooo and the 'fact or circumstance' part.  But I know for sure that Paul and I have not done anything dishonorable (alright listen...living with someone before you get married is not dishonorable, even my parents were on board so get over it!), improper or ridiculous to cause us infertility.  It's just a fact. 

We are 1 of the 8.  There I said it...we are part of the group.  Believe it or not, we now know lots of people who are in this group. But most of these people haven't shared with the world...or even their friends, some haven't even shared with their families. This makes me so sad.  We have had such amazing support from friends, family and even strangers.  Take it from this girl, when you are feeling lost, upset and depressed about this situation, support is what you need even if you don't know it!  If you feel like I am talking to you and you don't feel like you have that person to talk to, please email me.  I would love to help you through your pain, confusion, frustration, etc. 

Now let's go back to that hashtag #partoftheproblem.  We have have covered shame, but there is also this feeling of hush hush. Like its a bad thing to talk about infertility.  First of all its not bad, you can't catch it.  Now I will tell you, I am not the norm (duh!) Most people aren't as open as me.  Here are some great tips for talking about infertility. Things to say and not to say A lot of people aren't comfortable sharing their story,and I totally get it, really I do.  But so far the best tip given to me was to write it down!  So if blogging is not your thing, go buy yourself a journal and a fancy pen, and start writing...start wherever you want. You can always back track in your writing. 

Here is the bottom line of today's post, no matter how alone you feel, you aren't alone. Everyone's journey is different.  In fact, I have yet to talk to one couple who has the same issue as us. But those of us on this journey get the feelings you are having.